Marriage can be hard work. The person that you married may be different in some ways as the years go by. Hopefully this difference is for the better. Sometimes it is but then again, sometimes it's not. The things that you initially loved about your spouse may have grown to the very things you despise which can cause heartache and make the marriage even more challenging. So, if you are in that spot, how can you move forward and enhance your marriage?
1. Acknowledge the changes, good and not so good in the marriage.
2. Focus on your self where you have changed for the good or not so good.
3. Each take responsibility for that change.
4. Listen to each other, which helps out a lot!
5. List how you can "change back". A person can not change back in who they were 5 years ago or however long ago but when you look at how you once were, it can help you remember the good times and recreate a desire to be that person. For example: if you were more spontaneous because of not having kids but now you have kids and you plan for everything; you can begin to be more spontaneous which will add more spark back in yourself, spouse and your family. That small change can enhance a lot and add a new dimension to your marriage.
6. Apologize and forgive hurts, past and present.
7. Desire for change.
8. Allow time for change. Keep practicing daily. New visions of your marriage takes time.
9. Start doing small changes and enjoy the positive results.
10. Make time for each other, even if it's a 5 minute alone time with your spouse, enjoy those moments.
I know most of the points may not have been ways to enhance your marriage but in a way they are. As Dr. Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge". It's true. In order for your marriage to be better than it is at the current time, you got to look at ways you can change it or enhance it.
Til next time,
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